Say what?

So after a whirlwind courtship spanning two countries and lots of very long phone calls we were engaged in June 2007. We made plans to marry on 8-8-08. We paid deposits, met with priests and laid all the plans not only for our formal stateside wedding, but also for the reception in Canada after we were married. Well you know what they say "the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray" and ours did very quickly. Our 8-8-08 wedding date turned into 9-22-07 and NO, I was not pregnant!

Ferdinand popped the question high above the CN Tower in Toronto, and we began to sweat a bit! Now we had to make the official announcement to so many people. Though we were  happy  overjoyed and excited, would everyone else be? We were nervous scared to death, but we were convicted and happy and so we embraced the moment and set off. Well.....not so much!

Shortly after our engagement school was out and I was headed south to visit my mother and family and friends along the way. Ferdinand and I spent hours via phone and computer planning the wedding and making plans. Before you knew it, it was August and  we were on our way to our Pre-Honeymoon Family Cruise complete with 4 of our 5 kids! What a blast we had!! After a week of bliss we said our goodbyes in Florida and Ferdinand and the young kids headed back to Canada while Son 2 and daughter and I headed to Georgia to drop Son 2 off at the Civil War Andrew College! The town of Cuthbert was nothing shy of Civil War looking. In fact, I am pretty sure that the roads were still dusty! But that's a story for another post!

After driving three days and some more family and friend visits along the way it was time to finally get home and unpack before beginning a new school year. I remember walking into school the first day and sweating profusely. I had to make the big announcement soon that I would be getting married on September 22 and it was already September 8th! I had spent hours writing and re-writing my resignation letter. It was perfect and polished, but I wasn't! This was a job that I loved. I loved the people, the students, the staff and the school community. I had many friends and a huge support group there. I was terrified. I was nervous that my friends would think I was crazy and say it was too soon. I was nervous that they would laugh and make jokes. I was plain scared. But, I did it. I put the letter in an inter-office envelope and sent it to our Board and with that I breathed a sigh of relief. Thirty days and I was done.

That next weekend I visited my parents in-laws, whom I loved dearly. Sporting my ring for  the first time ever in their presence I was a freaking, nervous, sick-to-my-stomach, wanna throw up, MESS. I could barely concentrate on the words we were speaking much less eat the food Mom had prepared. All I could focus on was just what in the world I was going to say. I had dropped subtle hints to Mom and Sister (in law) for sometime, but I had never had the nerve to tell them. And Dad? NO WAY! He was still deep in the mourning stages of Bob's loss and I was extremely afraid that telling him would do damage on many levels. First, it would anger him that it had only been 16 months since Bob had died. Then I knew he would fall apart at the thought that his only grandchildren were leaving. Lastly I knew that my leaving would leave a void too deep for him to comprehend. We were close.

As I remember it, we cooked out that day and ate on the back porch. After dinner we had dessert and somehow as if on cue, a conversation began on rings. Or maybe it was jewelry. Anyway it opened the door for me to show Mom and Dad and Sister (in law) my ring and announce our engagement. At this point I can only remember Dad saying "oh that's nice" before it hit him and he went through the phases of shock, stunned and then for a brief moment anger. The questions I knew he'd ask were asked and I did my best to answer them honestly. By the time I was ready to leave he had emotionally circled around to acceptance and we hugged and bid all a fond farewell. Things were good. okay.

Now Ferdinand's story of telling his parents and in law's is similar. His parents "knew" thought they didn't really know!  First of all in his Filipino culture, you don't bring a girl home to meet the family until you're sure she's the one. I met the family pretty very quickly. Then his mother, Nanay, said to me, " I have never heard my Ferdinand laugh (so much) until he met you." But after he bought the ring and showed it to them he made the official announcement and received their blessings before we made the trip to the CN Tower!

Telling his in-laws was a bit trickier for Ferd. He didn't tell them! He preferred to keep our relationship a secret from them. I honored that request although I wasn't really sure how it would work out. The second weekend after we were married was Alma's first anniversary (of death) and Ferdinand was hosting a catered dinner at a restaurant in her memory. Although he asked begged that Jordan and I go, I didn't think that was the time or the place for us to show up and now announce our marriage, so we bowed out and stayed home. A good decision. Eventually he did tell them and they too were shocked but were happy that the younger kids would have a mom and a normal family life to grow up in.

Today, everyone knows. Both sides have accepted us all as extensions of our families and the best part of it all is that for our kids it means TWO extra sets of grandparents and for Ferdinand and I, extra parents that love us and support us and our wonderful BLENDED FAMILY!