Saturday, Sunday, MONEY

Well, the weatherman/woman was right, it was BBQ weather here in Southern Ontario this weekend! If you had asked me a month ago when I thought I'd see my lawn again, I might have said June. But alas, I can see grass on every square inch now thanks to our mild weather over the past few weeks. Just so you'll know...we DID barbecue on Saturday and had plans to do so again on Sunday, but after a lovely family dinner out with Hunk's In-laws, we were just too full to consider grilling again! Steak tonight on the BBQ under an umbrella it is! Today the temperature is pleasant but it's pouring! I guess it's a case of taking the good with the bad!

A topic that came up early in our engagement was, naturally, money. Now I don't like to talk about money very much. It's a necessary requirement of life, but I'm not big on "money talks" although I knew it was a topic that had to be discussed. So every time Hunk would bring it up, I'd politely try and change the subject. Sometimes I succeeded.  I think we were finally at the stage of wedding planning where we had to face the talk and decide where the money was going to come from. I remember feeling uneasy and thinking to myself "what DO I expect here?"  I think we both decided to just plunge in and let it happen...the talk that is!


Early on in our relationship/marriage we took the position of "whats his is ours and whats hers is ours."  We felt strongly that in order to bond and have our family bond completely there could never be a line that the kids could cross in thinking that they could ask Mom or ask Dad for money. If they asked one of us it was the same as asking the other. We left no door open in terms of "inheritance" and who got what. We were forming a new family and like any family, we share what we are blessed to have. So there has subsequently been no one person after another's pocketbook! We make conscious decisions together and we manage together. It works well for us.

I can't say that our way of doing things is good for everyone. I just know that money is truly the root of all evil and it can be a deal breaker or a deal maker. We chose to make the deal! It is a serious issue that can't afford to be overlooked and must be dealt with early on in a relationship. We don't let the dollar control us, but we are not foolish either. We have joint accounts and full disclosure and for us, it works and works well.

My best advice is to be open and honest with your feelings. If you want yours to be yours, then you msut not be afraid to say so. I know many people who have that situation and it works well for them. There is no right or wrong.

I have personal views that are pretty strong about pre-nuptual agreements as well. I remember well EVERYONE asking me if I was signing or having Hunk sign a pre-nup. All I can say is this...to me...if I have to think that hard and feel that uneasy about my relationship's stability, then I would ask myself "WHY am I marrying this person in the FIRST place?" I am a true believer in that. I mean honestly, if you can't trust the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, then don't get yourself in that situation to begin with. Plain and simple.

So, with that said...I'm off to get Baby Girl and make my way to the grocery store to spend some MONEY! (ugh)

Happy Money Monday!